This week I have really been trying hard to focus on my chosen attribute of patience. Nothing I had been trying seemed to be working. I have decided to just not engage. That seems to be helping me stay calm even though I am still listening to the chaos around me. Surprisingly the kids seem to be fizzling out faster with their arguments when I am not involved in the discord. My son, who is usually the one at the center of all the conflict, seems to really be mellowing. He is more helpful, agreeable and less defiant. I am not noticing the same thing in my daughter but I think it might be that she is having a hard time adjusting to the change in my response. I will continue to look for more ways to be patient as I continue to avoid reacting. I have also enjoyed reading about the beatitudes this week. Here are a few thoughts from the Book of Mormon Student Manual Chapter 41. Matthew 5:3a defines a beatitude as 'to be fortunate' 'to be happy' or 'to be blessed." Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary defines beatitude as "a state of utmost bliss." These all sound like great blessing in our lives and I hope that as I strive to have a little more patience, I will in turn acquire more of the philosophies of the beatitudes. Along these lines I learned something that I feel is very interesting to consider. When I was working as a loan processor many years ago, my boss was very in to motivational talks and positive thinking. She had me listen to a speaker on cassette (see I told you it was many years ago). His talk was titled, "The Platinum Rule." The main philosophy was that if we treat others the way we would want to be treated that is not necessarily the way they want to be treated. If we truly want to reach people, make a difference in their live and make them feel loved and valued we need to treat them the way they want to be treated. This may be different than the way we want to be treated. In order to do this we need to listen to them and observe their likes and dislikes. It may be helpful to learn their color code or love language to see what motivates them and what makes them feel valued and appreciated. I found this to be very profound. The golden rule takes quite a bit of effort but the platinum rule takes even more investment of time and sincere effort. The investment is well worth it!

My favorite thing I learned this week was during our Directed Study at the gathering. My group was assigned to work on Option 2 part B. The scripture passage that was connected to the assignment was Helaman 12:3-21. The questions was "Why would Mormon suggest that man is less than the dust of the earth?" A girl in our group had read the Institute Manual for the corresponding lesson. She shared a quote with us from Joseph Fielding Smith. It reads "Now this prophet did not mean to say that the Lord has greater concern for and loves the dust of the earth more than he does his children...The point he is making is that the dust of the earth is obedient. It moveth hither and thither at the command of the Lord. All things are in harmony with his laws. Everything in the universe obeys the law given unto it, so far as I know, except man. Everywhere you look you find law and order, the elements obeying the law given to them, true to their calling. But man rebels, and in this thing man is less than the dust of the earth because he rejects the counsels of the Lord." This really struck me. I think this is supposed to shed a more positive light on Mormon's words but to me it just makes me reflect on how I am using the agency I have been given. The elements have not been given agency and therefore are compelled to obey. Having been given the gift of agency am I using it wisely? Am I voluntarily choosing to be obedient? A member of my class suggested adding a word to the question posed in the lesson. "Why would Mormon suggest that man is less (obedient) than the dust of the earth?" I think this simple change brings it all into perspective. We are Heavenly Father's greatest treasure so of course we are not worth less than the dust of the earth. He loves us so much that he lets us choose for ourselves even though sometimes that means we will not return to Him. Something else I learned from this Directed Study is that we can't just take a scripture we may not fully understand at face value. If we did that with this scripture we would have a very sour taste in our mouth. Yet if we take the time to dig deeper and get to the true meaning, it gives us more understanding of the love our Heavenly Father has for us instead of feeling worthless. There is such a large chasm between the two interpretations. It just showed me how important it truly is to "study" the scriptures and not just read them.

Here we are, another week has passed. I feel like I am really struggling to keep up with life. There is work and kids and school, etc. Sometimes it just seems like too much but I need to realize that it is just as important to be patient with myself as it is to be patient with other people. I have chosen to focus on the attribute of patience and I am not progressing as quickly as I would like. That is okay! Baby steps. Line upon line. Precept on precept. Here a little and there a little. Last week when I did a blog post you couldn't read the heading for my blog because the picture wasn't the right size so I changed the picture this week. I love this picture. It is called "Friends Set You Free"! Even though it is not a perfect comparison, I thought it went well with the saying at the top. It reads,"The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step." As I am trying to learn patience it feels like a journey of a thousand miles. I feel like I try and fail and try and fail again but each time I try again I am a little farther along than I was the last time I tried and failed. Heavenly Father only asks that we give our all and that He will fill in the rest. I keep trying and trying again and each time I need just a little less help, a little less help from on high. I really enjoyed a scripture I read in our group today in our gathering. It is Alma 44:4 "Now ye see that this is the true faith of God; yea, ye see that God will support, and keep, and preserve us, so long as we are faithful unto him, and unto our faith, and our religion; and never will the Lord suffer that we shall be destroyed except we should fall into transgression and deny our faith." I love this because it lets me know that I don't have to be perfect. I have to try and I have to have faith. God will support, keep and preserve me if I do those things. I know if I continue to work toward having more patience, He will help me achieve my righteous desires.

So for this last week's "gathering" I had volunteered to be the lead student for the math class. We do the math class the first hour. My friend was signed up to teach for the second hour. She had a family emergency and even though she was in class, she was not able to teach. Our missionary asked me half way through the math class if I could be the lead student of the Book of Mormon class too. I told him I was totally unprepared but if he wanted me to I would. I said "Just tell me what to do and I will do it." We talked for just a few minutes in between classes and amazingly enough I wasn't really freaking out. I had said a prayer before I went to class to have the Spirit and to be calm and to be able to teach what Heavenly Father wanted me to. I knew He would help me do what I had been asked to do. Last semester for my "becoming" project I had chosen to become more prayerful. I feel like it has stayed with me even though the semester is over. I think it went well and I truly felt guided on what to say. Most of the class had no idea I hadn't planned on teaching from the beginning. As far as this week of class goes I was really touched by the "Attributes of Christ" assignment. I really liked finding specific scriptures that applied to the attribute I chose, which was patience. My favorite reference was Alma 7:23. Even though this was not in the scripture block for the week I felt it was the most moving of the passages I read on patience. The verse reads, "And now I would that ye should be humble, and be submissive and gentle; full of patience and long-suffering; being temperate in all things; being diligent in keeping the commandments of God at all times; asking for whatsoever things ye stand in need both spiritual and temporal; always returning thanks unto God for whatsoever things ye do receive." This scripture has always reminded me of the 13th Article of Faith. I think it is also a perfect example of the Study Skill "lists". I really like lists and how they organize things into a like group. These attributes are all intertwined and it gives me things to strive for.

I am making another post for my FDREL 121 class. I really enjoyed the lead student's presentation this week. He showed some clips of a living scripture video about Alma the younger. I am really having a similar experience as Alma. Even though it is not my child, it is the person I was supposed to spend eternity with. About a year ago my husband of 18 years left me with no warning but a text at 2:30 in the morning. It was such a shock and I had a difficult time processing what was really happening. It has been a difficult year but I am getting far enough away from the shock now that I have more perspective. I was just telling a friend of mine yesterday that I don't hate him. I hate Satan. My ex has been hijacked by Satan. He left everything that Heavenly Father had blessed him with for the pleasures of the world. He has adopted the philosophy, "Eat, Drink and be Merry for tomorrow we die!" Having a family and responsibilities was just too much effort. He wants to just enjoy life and do what he wants to do when he wants to do it. What he doesn't realize is that as time goes by he will have nothing to show for his "fun". He has lost the trust of his wife and children as it says in the scriptures. It is very important that we remember what is important in this life. I know this post is for our religion class but it seems to intertwine with our GS 120 class. We were learning about family relationships in that class this week. Even in the proclamation to the family it talks about how our family relationships are central to our Creator's plan. Our family is our most precious gift. I am grateful for the example that Alma set as he never gave up on his son. Even though there is no chance of reconciling with my ex I do hope the best for him and hope eventually he decides to come back to the gospel. All we can do is love those that wander and set a good example.

This week for my religion class the assigned reading was Enos - Mosiah 3. These are some of my favorite chapters. I am inspired by Enos's sincerity as he pleads for forgiveness. I enjoy reading the counsel from Jarom, Omni and Mormon. I love the first few chapters of Mosiah. I had a seminary teacher who talked about how when it came time for general conference he would make tents in his living room facing the television so that they could listen to the prophet like the people had listened to King Benjamin as he stood on the tower. This was a very vivid memory for me. I remember it even now, twenty one years later. I think about it every conference. I love to listen to the prophet and general authorities speak. I believe that they are true messengers from Heavenly Father and that they are His mouth here on earth that can speak the things He would have us know. They give us guidance to help us navigate the perils of this world. I am so grateful for the scriptures and for a living prophet. I am grateful to know that Heavenly Father still speaks to His children today. If we listen to the counsel given to us in the scriptures and by the prophet and to the promptings given to us by the Holy Ghost, I know we can return to live with our Heavenly Father again.

I found this week's assigned reading to be very thought provoking The assignment was 2 Nephi 28-33. I really enjoyed discussing 2 Nephi 28:19-22. It is talking about Satan and all the ways he tries to entice us to follow him. The lead student gave us the definition of pernicious. Pernicious means "having a harmful effect, especially in a gradual or subtle way." That is definitely the way Satan works. He is not going to just get someone to rob a bank but he can slowly get us to stop saying our prayers or going to church. This leaves the door open to start doing things we would have never considered doing before and then it becomes a downward spiral. Eventually we could get to the point where we really would rob a bank or at least steal. In verse 21 it says that "the devil cheateth their souls, and leadeth them carefully down to hell." I think it is interesting that he leads us carefully down to hell. There is a quote that I find very profound. It says,"The devil does not come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns. He comes as everything you've ever wished for. Pray for wisdom and discernment." In the "Digging Deeper" videos, there was one called "Feast Upon The Words of Christ". It talked about a quote from Pres. Benson that pointed out one of the purposes of The Book of Mormon is to expose the enemies of Christ. Here are some examples of Satan's lies: There is no God. God is no longer a God of Miracles. Eat, drink and be merry. He teacheth a man not to pray. He stirs the children of me to anger against that which is good. With everything going on in the world, the only way to survive is to cling to the gospel and to the teachings of Christ. We must rely on the Spirit to guide us and direct us through the figurative darkness. We must have faith and trust in our Prophet. He will not, he cannot, lead us astray. If we will do these things then we will receive the promise found in 2 Nephi 31:20. "Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life." This has always been my favorite scripture because I feel like it sums up all the teachings of the gospel and the plan of salvation in one verse. I want to live my life so that I can return and live with my family and my Heavenly Father again. That is all that really matters in the end!